A Candid Resolve

Every time I reflect back after leaving Bishop Cavallera Girls’ School, one thing pops up in my mind. I needed the school more than the school needed me. I needed the students more than they needed me. I learnt more than I taught. Every impact that I had dreamt of transmitting turned back to me. I won’t lie to you that I helped the students in achieving their goals. What I know is not a lie is that students made me better at what I did. In its location, culture and composition. I miss the place.

It is not that the place was ideal. I made a lot of mistakes. I made enemies and there were times I gave up on my struggles. At some point, I had to give up. I yelled, I shouted. I was angry. I was lonely. There are those classes I attended unprepared. Some I felt I never gave my best. Some I was consumed by disappointments that I was not effective in delivering. It never stopped me from loving the place. It never stopped my pursuit. I still felt at home. I still derived happiness from the environment and the school community.

Saturday 28th February 2015, just two months old in the school is one of such memories I still harbour deep inside my heart. I was on duty and as per the norm of the weekend, I was to be in school by eight in the morning. Everything was as usual when I reported. The students, as always in their morning prep, were in class fifteen minutes earlier. I inspected the school with an intent of spotting a mischievous student in vain. All was well. I moved from the dining hall, through the library, past the form four class, all the way to form one and ended up in the staffroom. The various classes and the other rooms in the school were arranged not in a single block but as individual rooms. Every room was independent and the rooms were arranged in a semi-circle. Dormitories and the dining hall behind the classrooms and the library.

Back in the staffroom, I placed my phone on a corner window. It was one of the few places where the network was available in the compound. I arranged a few things on my table and sat on my chair. My table was in the far-left diagonal to the door and adjacent to the teachers’ dining room. I had my timetable stuck on the wall on my right.

A few minutes of being undecided elapsed then I decided to make one round. There was a principle that we were to adhere strictly to, in the school. Active presence. I moved from the staff room behind the classrooms all the way to form four class and back through the front side. There was a lot of calm in the compound. On my way back, I noticed that form two students were on their usual discussions.

I was bored back in the staff room and I decided to attend to form three class for a mathematics revision lesson. I had been struggling to improve both the performance and syllabus coverage in the class. The students were cooperative and they helped me a lot in my quest to achieve these objectives. As I approached their classroom, I realized it was empty. It never bothered me because it was normal to find a class empty. I thought maybe they were in the dormitory or in the kitchen selecting grains. I strolled back figuring out the next thing to do. I used to teach form 1 and form 3 math but I was comfortable with form ones. I never had problems with Geography in either class.
As I was passing by form two classroom, I decided to turn back and peep in. I wanted to pass time or find something I can engage in. when I entered the classroom I was shocked. Less than a minute was enough for me to observe everything. In total silence with an expressionless face, I left the class in haste. I found myself in the staff-room deliberating. It was just the other day that I had informed my form three class how the form two students were struggling with math.

Guess who I saw! Damaris, a smart hardworking student, generous when it came to sharing her knowledge and a good commander of language was on the board with Galgallu, math subject representative, another self-dedicated and hardworking student. Diramu David commonly referred to as DD was in their midst. The other students were in small heterogeneous groups comprising of form two and form three students but all eyes and ears were on Damaris before I popped in. They were busy discussing Math. The form threes took the initiative to hold a joint discussion with their colleagues in form two.

I was moved. I moved my hand to caress my heart with joy. Words failed me. They refused to come out. What I felt did not allow me to remain in that classroom. it was my second year since I had graduated but I had not seen such before. Students taking initiatives without being asked. Students working their way out to solve problems through their own initiative. It was a simple gesture but with valueless lessons to learn. It affirmed my conviction. It was something I had been missing for long. Any math teacher who has been wrestling with students’ attitude towards mathematics can affirm my feelings at the time. I made a resolve that morning. To dedicate anything at my reach towards helping them. My time, expertise, resources, anything…